I haven't done meta in a while, but this isn't really meta, more me expressing my SJAFKLSJKLAJFLDSKJFLKDAJALS thoughts in a somewhat-coherent manner. CECELIA MARIE HALPERT. Oh my GOSH. That's my name! Yes, I'm posting about the fictional birth of a fictional baby of a fictional Scranton couple. Yes, I'm getting weepy. This is not weird at all.
It really didn't strike me that the Halpert baby was going to be born today. I didn't even remember what day it was until I checked Twitter and saw all the OfficeTally tweets. Then I stopped breathing. No, I'm kidding. The no-breathing thing came later.
I thought the cold open was just perfect for the episode. Like, I knew things were going to get all sentimental and weepy so I appreciated the effort to make us laugh at Dwight. Speaking of which, "I need a baby. I'll never outsell Jim and Pam without one." Oh GOD I laughed so hard. Someone's got their priorities straight.
"Also I've been noticing a gaping hole in my life. Sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd." Two things: a) I still have no idea what this means, after almost 16 hours thinking about it and b) only Dwight would happen to have a gourd near his person while he sleeps.
EDWARD'S CORNFLAKE CHICKEN. I was such a laugh slut for Dwight and Kevin in this episode. I mean, really? CORNFLAKE CHICKEN? The Colonel isn't good enough for an emo vampire?
SECOND BREAKFAST! My fangirl heart did a little dance in my chest at this reminder of LOTR and Pippin. Though, if Kevin is Pip, Oscar is Merry? HEEEEEEE.
Re: the whole not-leaving thing--I love Pam and all, but girlfriend was way irrational. Like, delaying the hospital trip can be very very dangerous for both the mother and the child. I guess this was the show's way of going all "nudge, nudge, wink, wink" at the crappy health care system, but I don't know if that was such a good thing to show. That said, I did enjoy some of the scenes that came about as a result of this crazy behavior. PAMELA HALPERT, THAT IS STRIKE 1.
Jim looks so frazzled already and it's only two minutes into the episode. Writers, I appreciate your attempt to not kill my ovaries before the actual birthing.
KELLY IS ME. OMG. I cannot tell you how many times I've flip-flopped on the idea of actually giving birth to a child, even though I eventually want children. I've gone so far as to say that I will only have a kid if I can have a C-section. AT LEAST THEY CAN NUMB YOU UP FOR THAT SHIT.
DWAAAAAAAAAAAAANGELAAAAAAAAAA. "Let's meet at 4 p.m. in our old meeting spot and bang it up." Why do I feel like this whole "business-deal" is the perfect summation of their relationship? OH RIGHT BECAUSE IT IS.
I adore how Jim resorts to sports analogies when he's troubled. I also adore watching his hands and thinking about all the things he can do to me with thos-OKAY I'M BACK.
ANDY AS A BABY EXPERT. It's a testament to his skills that I kept nodding my head in agreement to everything he said.
HEEEEEEEE THE OFFICE IS GANGING UP ON JIM. HEEEEEE I AM GIGGLING.
The Evolution of Dance-Dance was just as perfect as I imagined it, if perfect means awkward and hilarious and lots of crotch-thrusting. LOLOLOLOL
RYAN AS MARCUS FLUTIE. Oh dear God, my lungs burned from the laughing.
I have no idea what Erin was saying. Like, at all. I adore her anyway.
"I'm not crazy, she's crazy. I'm not crazy, she's crazy." God, Jim Halpert, make me want you a little bit more, why don't you?
I firmly believe that Dwight and Angela were two of the writers of the Bible. Look at their favorite names!
LOL I love how even Michael's getting frazzled trying to convince Pam to go to the hospital. THIS IS A SIGN, PAMELA. And Pam calls Jim BABE when she's stressed! HEEEEEEEEE. God, this scene was so adorable. I love that Michael is around for almost all the special moments this season. And frazzled!Jim Halpert is now my third favorite incarnation of Jim Halpert, right after lovey-dovey!Jim Halpert and pining!Jim Halpert.
8. MILE. SOUNDTRACK. Man, I really don't want to know what Jim's idea of sexy time music is.
Andy's newspaper headline idea was really cute! I wish someone had done that for my birth. Although I probably would not appreciate it as much if I had a headline like "Scranton Strangler Strikes Again."
Can I just say, my shriveled-up little heart was bursting to the seams while watching Jim and Pam navigate their first night of parenthood? Because it's just so gratifying and awesome to see the culmination of all the "Not a bad day"s and "Hi. Hi"s and the tears and the looks and the angst and the happiness. I honestly don't say this much, but they make me believe in love.
I don't know how to feel about the whole latching thing. Plus, having Jenna Fischer's fiance as their lactation consultant was weird. Jealous!Jim was the best part of that scene, negl. But I'm happier with this episode than I expected to be, and that's saying something, considering that I haven't been that interested in the Office since the wedding.
Next up: ERIN/ANDY. Although I wouldn't be averse to an Oscar/Andy/Erin sandwich. This says much more about the writers of the show than it does about me.